overflowing…

My personality is such that I am a great starter and terrible at maintenance.  I’m a wait-until-the-low-fuel-light-comes-on kind of guy.  I may have passed 10 gas stations in the past two miles, but even though I was on “E” the gas light wasn’t on yet, so I figure I have plenty of fuel left.   The problem with living life this way, I’ve found, is that it allows for such dramatic swings in life that not much is steady and consistent.  I’ll go a solid month working my tail off and then crash into zombie mode for 5 days straight.

I’m not much of a fan of New Year’s resolutions, but I am a fan of being effective…and it’s hard to be effective if you’re not consistent.  I’ve learned that the thing people are looking for most in life is a person that they know they can count on.  It’s obvious in most relationships, and it’s obvious in marriages, and it’s very obvious in parenthood.

So I guess that’s where the fresh start comes in.

I desire, more than anything, to be the most effective husband/father/pastor/child of God I can be.

This is where the whole maintainance thing comes in.

It means not waiting until the empty light comes on to refuel.

It means being invested

It means having something to invest

It means believing that the Gospel is capable of changing a persons entire life, including your own

It means prayers of desperation and urgency rather than prayers of convenience and tradition

It means being obvious and honest and compassionate and broken

It means being filled to the point of overflowing

when things work…

It’s amusing to me how many times I’ve been taught the same lesson.  I’ve got a Doberman puppy that is one of the smartest and, at the same time, brainless animals I have ever seen.  She has survived getting hit by a car going 30 mph, which is impressive, but I think she lost a bit of her ability to learn on the side of the road…The command I am trying to instill in her for the past couple of weeks has been to sit in the kitchen while our family is eating dinner.  Mostly because Gideon really enjoys feeding her under the table, but also because it’s just bad manners to have a dog sniffing around the table.  So what I’ve learned about Turkish is that she doesn’t learn based on punishment, only by showing her what is right.  I’ve spent entire meals pushing her back away from the table over and over and over again.  You can punish, yell, scold or punish in any way and she will continue to come to the table. So then I figured I would show her what I want her to do instead of showing her what I don’t want her to do.  So I sit her in the kitchen and tell her to stay.  She got up a couple of times and I sat her back down.  5 minutes later, she sits in the kitchen for dinner. “Sit and stay in the kitchen”

I can relate so much to this brainless dog recently.  I feel like I’ve been running head first into walls day after day, hour after hour.  It seemed like every part of my life, being a husband, father, pastor and child of God was spent figuring out what NOT to do…and the funny thing is I just kept coming back for more.  More punishment, more disappointment, more proof that I had no idea what I was doing.  And then, I had enough….”God show me what in the world I’m supposed to do?”   “Sit and stay in the kitchen.”

It’s good to have a Father/God that is patient and answers specifically.  The truth is, I’m just a brainless puppy and can’t reach my potential until I ask for instruction from my Master.  Not master in the sense that I have no control, but master in the sense that I acknowledge I am not in charge.

I’ve learned that when things work it had nothing to do with my efforts.  The old phrase, “You can do anything, if you put your mind to it”  is garbage.  Image what kind of faith that would create if it were true.  There wouldn’t be much need for a God that is all-powerful.  The sooner we admit we don’t know what we are doing, the sooner we are able to see God’s work in our lives. That’s when things work….

as well….

Now imagine that you are the top employee at your job, you make the most sales, save the most money, are the friendliest, most efficient employee.  You are the one who stays late and comes in early.  You always have a smile on your face and always encourage your co-workers. And you take pride in that.  It’s hard work but you always want to put your best foot forward.

So it’s the end of the year and your boss calls everyone in the conference room to make an announcement.  To celebrate a great year your company has decided to pay for a huge end of the year party.  And their making a really big to do about it.  It’s not like last years party that was catered by White Castle.  This is top notch.  5 course meal.  It’s going to be at the Hilton downtown. And the company has hired limo’s for each of the employees and their spouse for the night.  To top it all off at the end of the night.  The president of the company will be recognizing the employee of the year.

And this is where you light up.  You’re a shoe-in.  You’ve done the best, made the company the most money, never been late, never called in sick, never complained.  Always did everything above and beyond what you needed to do. And now finally you are going to be recognized for it.  You are finally going to be noticed and given the respect and recognition that you have always deserved.  From here on out, everyone is going to know how big of a deal you are because the president of the business is going to bring you up on stage and recognize you in front of everyone.  Everyone will jump to their feet in applause for how inspiring you are.  Your spouse will have a small tear well up insider their eye and a smile that says, “I’m so proud of you.”

The night of the party comes and you’re completely beside yourself.  You’re all dressed up in your finest and ready to go.  The limosine is over the top as you sip a glass of champagne to toast to a great year with your loved one.  You arrive at the Hilton and everything looks beautiful.  You feel important getting out of the limosine and several people flash glances at you.  You can see them mouthing the words, “Who is that”  You appreciate their attention and walk into the Ballroom to meet your co-workers.  Dinner is served and it’s the best you’ve ever had.  There is even a three piece string group that is playing softly in the background, but none of this experience even compares to the recognition that you are about to receive.  As the night draws on the president of the company makes his way to the microphone.  “This is it, you think.”  You shoot a look at your spouse and they smile, knowing how much this means to you.

“I’d like to thank you all for coming out tonight and for working so hard to make this company thrive all year long.  We had a record setting year and I couldn’t have done it without all of you.  But there is one person in particular that I would like to recognize to night.  This person has shown the kind of work ethic that reminds me of what I used to be when I started this company.  They are what this company is all about…hard work, dedication, and a real team player.”  A smirk draws across your face.  “The award for employee of the year 2008 goes to.”

“Bob the janitor”

A silence goes across the crowd.

“what?” you think as you sit back down as you have already come out of your chair to accept the award.  “How could this be…Bob?”

Now normally you’re quiet and subdued, but not now.  This is crazy.  There is no way this is happening.  You’re outraged. “I deserve that reward.  I’m the one who outperformed everyone this year. That award was meant for me!”

The president looks down from the stage at you a bit puzzled, but at the same time, not surprised.

“Ok, You can have one as well”

Another employee stands up and yells, “well if they get one, I want one too.”

“Ok, You can have one as well.”

At this point, you have no idea what to think.  What in the world does he mean by, “you can have one AS WELL?  I should be the only one receiving this reward, not AS WELL?  AS WELL means I wasn’t intended as the original recipient of the award. I was an after thought.

The award is no less valuable than before.  You could still go home and say you received the award for employee of the year, but it throws you off to know that it wasn’t directed only for your benefit. It disappoints you that you aren’t recognized and rewarded the way you saw fit.  You received the reward AS WELL.

Matthew 6:33 “Seek (greek word “zeteo” which means to crave) first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you AS WELL.”

One of the most primary lessons that we learn about the kingdom of God is that it is first for the glorification of God.  That is why there is the as well, because if we have our craving set on the kingdom, we care less and less about what we get out of the deal.  We care more and more that God is lifted up and His kingdom expanded and deepened.  Crave the kingdom!

like Jesus?

A lot of what we see in life has this façade
Each company puts the best in front. They want to appear to have no flaws.
Their product is THE answer.

We are introduced to a product or service and it seems great. It seems beneficial.   It’s something we can’t live without.  Everyone will have one. On top of all of that it’s affordable.  (for only three easy payments of $19.95)

Until we read the fine print. Until we sign on the dotted line.  And then we’re left shocked, disappointed, unsatisfied.  We feel lied to. We feel mislead.  We might even feel a little embarrassed that we fell for it.

There is a growing number of people who have had that same experience with the church.
That the hype doesn’t match up with the product they’re selling.  It is a candy-coated Gospel.
We see the same candy-coating on TV. Evangelists who claim you can have it all, and still be “like Jesus”.  They throw around the word blessing as if it has purely to do with our earthly success and comfort.
What we will find when we actually read through the Bible is that to be “like Jesus” might look a little different than we expected.  It’s a very counter-cultural way of thinking.  Everything is upside-down.
This is who Jesus really is… A homeless man who…argues with authority, chooses the outcasts, hangs out with prostitutes, thieves and outsiders. Has all the power in the world, yet the meekness not to use it.  A guy who didn’t chase after those who weren’t willing to change.  Chose peace over retaliation. Self control over self indulgence. Submission over political authority. A guy who was happy without owning much more than the clothes on his back.A guy who met peoples needs but didn’t need to be recognized for it.  A guy who chose death for a world that majority of would deny Him.  A guy who said Go another mile, turn the other cheek, give to someone who asks.  A guy who spent three years investing in a person that He knew would stab Him in the back.  A guy who taught that you could do the right things according to the law and still be distant from God.  A guy who from the very beginning told you that you had to give up yourself in order to follow Him, in order be “like Jesus”

Does that sum up the person that we want to be like?
Do we understand how counter cultural, how Anti-self, how dangerous this guys is?
Are we sure we want to be “like Jesus?”

Absolutely!

living out of the heart

One of the first real jobs I had was at a large bank that shall remain nameless.  As an employee of a federal bank there are very strict guidelines.  Obviously, at any time you could have a half a million dollars in cash that you were responsible for.  The bank wanted to keep their money, so they had you do certain things in order to keep it that way.

This was a particularly difficult job for me because it was the exact same thing all day long, which, if you know me at all, drives me crazy.  I was a loan specialist at the bank when all the interest rates went so low a few years ago.  And in keeping with the strict robot-like personality that we were supposed to have, we had to say the same thing to every customer. “Would you like to hear about how we can save you money each month on your mortgage?”  to which most people would answer, “No, stop talking to me just cash my check!”

It didn’t help that most of the people that I worked with didn’t really like their jobs.  It was basically a temporary thing for all of us.  So all day, we would ask the same question.  Not really caring if the person took us up on the offer, because that just meant a ton more work for us and the bonus was hardly worth the extra effort.

The thing is.  I knew that refinancing would potentially save people hundreds of dollars each month. But I didn’t really know any of them, so I didn’t really care if they saved money.  I was just there collecting my 11 bucks an hour.

A couple months into the job things really started to change.  All of the sudden I was doing a million dollars a month in loans, which was 10 times my goal.  It took me a while to catch on, but I figured out what was happening.  I was seeing the same people each day and really started to enjoy our short conversations we would have.  I learned about their lives and they learned about mine.  I would remember things going on in their lives and ask about it and they would do the same.  So we moved beyond our customer/employee relationship to the point where I actually started to care about some of the people that were my “customers”  my “potential clients.”  They noticed it, I noticed it, my boss noticed it.  What happened was that my “Would you like to hear about how we can save you money each month with your mortgage?” Turned into me wanting to save my friends money.  It turned into, “Hey, we’ve got this thing going on and you really need to check it out.” I stopped caring about following the rules for the sake of being a robot.  I started caring about the people. What happened is I started living that part of my life out of my heart, rather than out of being forced to perform, forced to follow the rules.

And this makes sense?  We want to learn more about those we are close to.  We want to do good things for those we love.  We think of those who we care for more than we do complete strangers.  Our actions follow where our heart is.

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This has been on of the most valuable lessons I have learned about being a follower of Jesus.   And this is huge for the church as well.

It is this, “The way of Jesus means living out of the heart He is molding”

It also happens to be one of things Jesus addressed the most.  It’s the idea that actions, and knowledge are not the goal.  They are merely byproducts of having your heart in the right place.   What would our actions, knowledge and life looked like if having a heart that is seeking after God was our primary goal.

Going weekly….

In the church planting world, your first weekly service is pretty much everything you have worked towards for months.  There’s tons of pressure to show the world what you’ve got…what this church has to offer.  A million questions ring through your head…How many are going to show up?  What if no one comes?  What if our worship band is terrible?  Did I get someone to cover that area?  Are the signs up?  The list goes on and on.  The pressure to perform and deliver is out of this world…

So here we are, less than a week from the start of our weekly service, and I’m sipping a delicious coffee that my friend Zeb just hand delivered to my table at Starbucks. I slept like a baby last night.  I’m enjoying my morning.  I haven’t noticed any stress related grey hairs popping up. I’m calm. I’m excited. I’m confident. 

I resolved several months ago that I wasn’t going to “freak out” about this whole “launch” thing.  I promised myself that I wasn’t going to make it about ME.  It’s easy to do, and I’m tempted by it daily, but I just can’t do it. It’s not about me.  It wouldn’t be fair to anyone.  I’m confident…not in what “I” can do, but what He is capable of.  And isn’t that the whole point of the church?  Isn’t that where our focus should be…to see what He is capable of?  

I’m sure if I worked really hard I could gather a crowd…maybe by offering free pizza or even announcing that we would hand out $100 bills on Sunday night.  I’m sure that would gather a crowd.  But that’s not really what I’m interested in.  I’m interested in revival of this city.  I’m interested in a group of people that is ready to get their hands dirty.  I’m interested in a group of people that are ready to have their lives turned upside down by the Gospel.  I’m interested in seeing what God can do with a group, big or small, that can begin living the truth out by love.  I’m interested in this, because it is what God is looking for.

So I’m waiting, watching, praying, hoping….It’s not that I haven’t put in my long hours, sure, but that doesn’t mean that I am creating something.  I’m just lucky enough to be able to see this thing unveil itself in downtown Indy.  It’s been amazing, and I’m sure I haven’t seen anything yet.  The truth is…God had this figured out a long time ago.  Long before I even considered planting a church in Indy.  Long before I became a Christian. Long before I even existed.  And now, on September 7th 2008, I get to see the next part of what God has been scheming all this time.  My goal all along has been to seek out what the next step is in His plan.  Right now, the next step is being a more consistent part of downtown in adding a weekly service.  

What a blessing it is to see this small part of the kingdom come together.  It’s beautiful. It’s chaotic. It’s dirty. It’s challenging.  But I wouldn’t change it for anything.

how can I even put this into words…

Ok so it is official…We had our first worship service this past Sunday and I’ve taken a few days for it to soak in before attempting to put what happened that night into words. So for those of you who were there and those who couldn’t make it…here we go.

Sunday night was a beautiful experience for our community. I loved how natural it all felt. We gave up a long time ago on trying to impress people and do all we can to make sure the focus is where it is supposed to be. That focus being on Jesus, not our church. Don’t get me wrong, I really really really like our church, but I LOVE Jesus. Our church won’t change lives, but Jesus definitely will. So this takes a HUGE burden away from us as leaders, sure we’ve got to haul chairs around, practice music, write a message and all of the other things that go along with having a night like we did, but I will say this…I felt NO pressure when 6:00 p.m. Sunday evening hit. Pure WOW! Here’s how we see it. God’s got a plan…a really good one…we’re just privileged enough to come along side it and watch it play itself out in real life. As one of our own put it, “Jake, there’s a revival coming through this!” Man I love it!

As far as the night went, we met in the Atrium of my apartment, which was a beautiful setting with a glass roof. We were privileged to have Ty Caldwell lead us in worship. Ty has an incredible heart and is pretty dang good musically. Ok, he’s amazing. Side note…none of us knew until afterwards that he had never led worship before! Ryan Teverbaugh, or Coach T as we’re inclined to call him, welcomed everyone and talked about the beauty of the community that God is forming and what it has meant to him in the past few months. Laura Folsom got all the tech stuff figured out, not to mention the countless number of other things she rocks at with this ministry and her leadership of others. The Olingers provided drinks and communion, and of course Bethany had her very first children’s ministry. She’s amazing with the kiddos, and has been an amazing leader in this ministry. I’m laughing at how crazy it is that all of this is coming together so well. I tell people all the time, God’s planting this church in spite of us as leaders, not because of us. We’re just a group of people who’s motivation in life is having the overflow of our hearts be our the good news of the Gospel. We took a 10 minute break in between the time of worship, which gave people an extended time to get to know one another, and rid themselves of any potential A.D.D that comes with sitting still for too long. After the break, I had a message that basically spoke of our motivation for ministry is a “response” to being chosen by a God who is reckless in His love. Here’s what I loved most about the night. We get a group of people together, most of whom, don’t know each other at all, and somehow, it was instant community, which we’re a big fan of! No prompting, no secret “welcome” team. Just a room full of people who wanted to know, “How do you know people here?” I couldn’t have been happier. So, yep, it was awesome. So awesome, that I think we’ll keep doing it! We just got good news back from our venue, the brand new library downtown, that we have a place to meet, and for cheap too, they even threw in a couple of kids room for free!

Lastly here I’m pretty sure we ticked off Satan, because he was trying to kick our butt all week. People in the hospital, marital problems in families, cars breaking down, purses being stolen on two separate occasions, the Atrium that we used being double booked, you name it, we experienced it in our community the week prior. I guess that’s not too bad of a place to be in though…and we know that the great deceiver wants nothing more than for us to doubt.

I’m constantly reminded how beautiful of a God we have through the process of planting a church. There is a constant humbling of my heart and strengthening of my faith in seeing how Jesus changes lives. I can’t image what He has planned for us next!

why we are here…

I’ve often struggled with the question of why we do the things we do. What is our motivation to move forward? While most of my thought draw back to our Creator, the question of why we have church has been a particularly difficult question. I know clearly what the church offers: fellowship, music, a message, Bible studies, small groups, pitch in dinners (which are amazing!) But what is the motivation for these things? Here is what I’ve come to so far. When reading the Old Testament and the stories of how God reached out to mankind, which is completely unlike any other “god” up to this point, I realize how unique of a God we have. One that created humanity, and then despite our turning from Him, has still reached out to us! This is more amazing the more I ponder it. Then I look in the New Testament, specifically the Luke 15 account of the “lost” parables. As you read through each account, you realize how crazy the Shepard, the woman and the father are. Leaving the 99 behind, throwing a party for a lost coin, and running out to meet the son that completely took advantage of the father. Then we realize how amazing our God is. How amazing the Gospel is.

So this is it. This is our motivation for church. It’s not that we do all these things (sing, pray, study, fellowship) so that God will be happy with what we did for Him. We do these things BECAUSE WE CAN! We pray because we have a God that searches us out. We study the Bible so we can know what his will is for us. We worship because we have an amazing God. We fellowship for encouragement to stay the path of holiness. Luke 15 is our motivation. We “respond” to the ridiculous love of God. We serve, because we want others to know the same excitement we have. We worship God, not so that He’ll feel better about Himself, but because we can’t help but glorify the one who paid our debt.